Austen's Beginning

So after a 2 year sabbatical from this blog...I'm back. SOOOO much has happened since I wrote last. Obviously our baby girl was born, we got our new house built, & our life is beautiful.

My girl turns 2 tomorrow, and I wanted to post the letter I wrote shortly after she was born. This is part of the reason for the long blog break....besides just being a busy Mama. I want to be able to write. It's therapy for me, but it's also hard at times. So for those that want to know where Austen's story begins...this is it.

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Austen's Birth (2011)

First of all Brad and I would like to thank all of you from the bottom
of our hearts.

You have prayed, you have visited, you have facebooked, you have
called & texted, we have been in your thoughts....and when we needed
it, you gave us our privacy.
We have haven't confided in many besides our immediate family. The
reason for this is not because we are trying to be secretive or hide
anything. It is simply because we didn't, and still don't know all the
details or aspects of the news we were given.

 Last Sunday I was officially 41 weeks pregnant and had been begging to
be induced. Not because I was miserable, but simply because we were
ready to meet our sweet sweet Austen. Dr. Werner (who has been amazing
through all of this) agreed and my induction was scheduled for that
Sunday night. I called and called and called and there were no
rooms...everything was full. Dr. Werner advised me to just go into the
office on the following day (Monday) at 2...she said we would do an
ultrasound on Austen to make sure she was still good (as she had been
throughout my whole pregnancy) and then try to induce later that week.
So the ultrasound was done & we met with Dr, Werner. She expressed a
concern from the ultrsound. Austen had what appeared to be an enlarged
ventricle on the top of her head. Dr. Werner said that she wanted to
go ahead and induce me so we could get Austen out and run some tests
on her. After consulting with Shands it was decided that in order to
save Austen some stress I would have a c-section at shands so that we
would not have to be separated from her once she was born and sent for
further testing. I was immediately transferred. After several hours, I
was discharged....because again there were no beds! We stayed with
friends in Gainesville and I went back the next morning for a
scheduled c-section. Finally around 6:30pm I was taken in for my
surgery. Austen was born a healthy 8lbs 11oz. She is beautiful!! After
several pictures, Brad & Austen were taken down to the nursery. From
there Austen was taken in for an MRI of her brain. I was taken to
recovery and around 11pm I was finally able to put my hands on my
little girl & we were taken to our room. 2 hours after that radiology
staff showed up and said that Austen would need to be transferred to
NICU to be monitored. The MRI had come back abnormal. The resident
doctor didn't know details he basically knew that Austen had to be
monitored. I asked if we could have a minute alone with her. Shortly
after, Brad took Austen down to NICU, and we didn't sleep....We prayed
and we cried.

The next few days were basically a whirlwind of doctors....we met with
neurology staff, radiology staff, & geneticists, along with all the
usual staff you encounter during a hospital stay.....Brad & I have
decided to share what we know through this mass letter. Some of you we
are very close to, some of you we know casually, & some of you may get
this and we barely know you. That doesn't matter to us. What matters
is that everyone gets the whole story and everyone gets the same
information.

Here is what we know....
Austen's primary problem is that her brain was formed without a corpus
callosum. I don't really expect that many of you know exactly what
that is...We aren't even sure exactly what that is. We do know that in
some cases people are missing that part of their brain, and they may
not even know it. They may function normally, get in a car accident at
30 years old, go in to have a brain scan and discover they don't have
a corpus callosum. In other cases it can affect the brain in many
different ways. None of which can be foreseen.

Austen also has a cyst in her brain that is filled with fluid. The
cyst hasn't changed in size & isn't affecting anything as of now. It
will probably be one of those things that will be monitored.
Austen's third and final abnormality is that she has a extra layer of
grey brain matter. This is another one of those things...no one knows
how it may effect Austen...if at all.

Now you should understand why we havn't shared much. We have no idea
how these abnormalities might effect our baby. The doctors say that
Austen still had so much good brain that no one really knows. We are
basically living day to day...and honestly aren't we all living day to
day anyways??

 As of now Austen is amazing. She was in NICU but no one could figure
out why....she is functioning exactly how any baby should be...Her
hearing is normal, her eyesight is normal...her vitals are perfect.
She is beautiful!!

In fact....if I hadn't gone over my due date, or if I had been induced
Sunday night I wouldn't have had that last ultrasound that showed up
abnormal & we wouldn't even know Austen had any problems. We would've
brought home what we knew to be a completely normal baby. So even
though there's a part of me that wants to be angry with God....clearly
he was watching out for us....and we also know that we can't get
through this without HIM.

Brad & I are also doing well. We are in this together, and we keeping
each other strong. I won't lie...I usually make fun of those people
who get all mushy about their husbands on facebook...but
seriously....Brad has been beyond amazing through all of this, and I
couldn't do it without him. We know that this baby couldn't have been
given to a better family....and when I say family...I mean that Austen
has an incredible  support system. Grandparents, aunts, uncles
included. She is dearly loved.

A nurse approached me in NICU and told me how "sorry" she was. I know
that people don't know what to say in these situations..and everyone
means well, but we are not sorry. We love our little angel baby with
all of our hearts. She is the best thing that has ever happened to us.

We appreciate your concern for us & we covet your prayers! Austen is
already a little miracle.

Feel free to share this with anyone who may be interested in the
beginning of our baby girls amazing story!

With all of our love,
Brad, Beth, & Austen