Austen: Year 1

This is the update from Austen's 1st birthday (May 2012)


I can barely say this out loud without crying, but....We made it a year!

So many people have emailed & messaged me over the past year out of concern for Austen.

Some of you are family, many are friends, & there have even been those occasional messages where we may barely know each other ...and still you cared.

You all know who you are :)

Austen will be ONE next week! We have had so much going on with our house & our baby girl that the year flew by. SO many people constantly ask how Austen is doing. I haven't really sat down & sent updates so i'm doing that now. For those of you that are interested in the "first chapter" of Austen's story you can find it under the "notes" section of my Facebook. It's titled "Austen Avery Davis".

For the first 6 months of Austen's life everything was perfect...or as perfect as it could be with a newborn ;) Of course there were many sleepless nights and so on, but we were thankful for the normalcy. At almost 6 months exactly...Austen began having some mild seizure activity. We were admitted into the hospital in early December 2011 & she was diagnosed with infantile spasms. She underwent treatment for that in the form of a steroid injection...which I hated!! As did those who actually administered the injection lol. The seizures/spasms seemed to improve, but didn't stop completely. After a few frustrations with everything we decided to see a new neurologist at Nemours. Austen has had several EEG's (tests her brain activity), and over time they have improved. She still has mild activity, but she is doing amazing! She will still have EEG's from time to time, and no one knows what the future holds. I honestly feel that she is gonna make it through everything fine & I have a peace about it. The "episodes" as we call them...haven't seemed to effect her at all. She still seems to be progressing and learning new things....and is the sweetest, snuggliest, happiest little thing ever!

Over the past year I have learned not to tell God what you can or can't handle. He will decide that. From the day we found out about Austen's brain abnormalities I said out loud to people "I'll be good as long as she doesn't have seizures! I don't know anything about seizures, and I don't think I could deal with that." WRONG. I CAN deal with that. We ARE dealing with that, and I think we're doing awesome.

I have learned to FULLY trust God....and there's a big difference in trusting God and FULLY trusting God! I'm sure everyone has been in a completely helpless situation. I was earnestly praying constantly for things I felt I wasn't getting. Brad & I sit at night and hold Austen through a seizure and it's hard. We can do nothing to help her. We are taking our child to doctors, and just trusting what they say...& they all say something different! Everyone has their own opinion as to what we should do, but none of them were in our shoes. It's stressful & we were being pulled a million different ways, and the last thing we wanted was to be pulled apart. We are in this together & fighting for the same thing. One person might think one thing & someone else may disagree, but all you have to do is step back and consider that even though everyone isn't in agreement....we all want the same outcome! All of us just want is what's best for Aus. At one point over the past year I was completely broken & helpless. I wasn't ever making light over anyone else's problems. I'm aware things could always be worse & I ache for those with bigger troubles...but this was our "worse"!! If something didn't change I was going to just give up on everything..The very first day of 2012 I was sitting in church holding Austen listening to Phillip preach. I will NEVER forget that sermon on trusting GOD. I've heard people say before that they felt God tug on their heart & I thought it was an expression. I mean i've been in church forever, and had never experienced that.That day he didn't "tug" he snatched....I was literally breathless and I knew immediately that I hadn't given it all to him as I said I would so many times.God hears my prayers & it's his decision to answer them how he sees fit. I finally gave it all to him.

When I look back on the day we sat down with the Doctors and recieved the news about Austen....and also the several months that followed...there is one thing that stands out to me. I was so concerned with what it meant for ME. What am I going to do? Why did God do this to US? How am I going to care for a baby with potential problems? How is MY life going to change?.....How sickening & selfish!!! I'm embarrassed to have behaved that way! The only excuse I can muster up is....hormones?! That doesn't even seem good enough. God has changed my whole perspective over this trying year! I'm so excited for everyone to see that He still works miracles. I HAVE ONE. Every single day my feet hit the floor & I wrap my arms around this little girl who isn't "supposed" to be doing the things she's doing. I can't wrap my mind around this fact.... Austen is missing the part of her brain that connects the left & right sides together. The two sides of her brain aren't "supposed" to be able to communicate. Can you fathom that? Have you seen Austen?! My baby uses the right and left sides of her body to work with each other, and she isn't "supposed" to. There are sometimes that I let myself get down b/c she may not be doing exactly the same things that other kids her age are doing. I immediately recover with this....She is doing FAR beyond what any doctor ever gave us hope for. Our geneticist looked at Aus several months ago and said she is "DEFYING HER ODDS"! In my prayers I have given Austen to God over & over again...i've prayed that He would do amazing things through her...and the truth is....He already has.

Thank you to those who continue to pray faithfully for us.

Thank you to our families. Through the struggles you have all been there for us & we know you all only want what's best for Aus.

To my besties (the Jennifers, Hannah, Jess, Keri, Haley, & Tamra)...You girls may not know it but you keep me going. You constantly check on Aus & me. You've been through all of this right with me! You've listened to my struggles & put up with my vent sessions. I love you girls like my sisters. xoxo.

To the girls at work...We hear 8 hours worth of each others dramatic lives every day...and we give advice as needed. Thank you all for listening & giving :) P.S. I need to apologize for my sparatic crying episodes at work...I have my days, but i've gotten A LOT better!!

To those who I only know as aquaintances, but you have showed concern & given us encouraging words.....Thank you. It's amazing to know that in today's society people still genuinely care for others!